Good morning!
It is the day after Black Friday and the official holiday count
down, only 28 more days until Christmas Day. I turned 40 this year and
sadly disappointed but thankful for many parts of my life.
It has been a little over seven years since my life took a
different path. I am so very grateful for it. I have a beautiful, passionate,
tenacious, smart little girl. She truly makes every day worth living and is
funny. She is so much like me; it
hurts literally. She is both feisty and loving. She is naive yet aware. She is
an amazing seven year old.
Yet, I feel like I stop existing when she entered my life. I was
not a girly girl before, but now I feel like I have to show her what it means
to be a woman. Heck, I do not know. I hate dresses, but I do wear them. I do
not like going out. I am not dating. All I do is work and church. Reality, if
tomorrow I disappeared I am not sure I would be missed, if not for her. This
attitude is reflected in how I carry myself.
I am overweight and I honestly believe it is one of the reasons
why I have not lost the extra weight. I am not sure I love myself. I think I
just put up with me. Therefore, I focus my love outwards towards others. Many
of whom could care less if I existed.
Yet, as I celebrated another year of life, I am sad because I have
finally realized that I am not living life. I am letting life pass me by daily. Why
am I waiting for someone or something to make me happy? Happiness is a fleeting
feeling. What I really should be striving for is self-love and enjoying the
love of family and friends. Life is truly short. Do I want to continue to live
it this way? NO! Therefore, for the remainder of this year I will focus on
God's love for me and self-love.
Join me as I rediscover life, fall in love with myself, and show
my daughter how to do the same. Love begins at home.
Until next time,
Blessings :)
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